6 Simple Reminders: Self-Care for Parents

Parenting is an amazing life experience. We all know how lucky we are to watch our children as they grow into the people they are meant to be. We try to stop and appreciate the little moments. We take hundreds of photos. We try to prepare them healthy food and space to run and play. We tell them we love them and do our very best to really be present.

Then the unimaginable that we were not expecting takes hold of our lives- COVID-19.

Parenting is really hard even in ordinary times, but it takes on a whole new level in extraordinary times. Some families may be combining daily responsibilities with job loss, temporary financial hardship, family health considerations and other matters.  There’s a reason that adults  when flying (not that we’ll be doing that for a while) are asked to place their oxygen masks on first before they place them on their children.  You can’t look after their safety if you’re not safe.  Just like you can’t fill from an empty cup, taking care of yourself first is your fuel for helping others.

Now more than ever we need to be anchored in our values.    Some of our families here in Australia have chosen to self-isolate and some have chosen to continue to send their children to school.  Whatever choice you have made, it’s a good one because you own it and it’s right for your family.  There will be moments when it will all feel a bit overwhelming. That is totally normal in a crisis, but it doesn’t mean it’s pleasant. There are also plenty of ways we can proactively make it all more manageable. It starts with prioritising time to take care of ourselves. We all know this, but it can be easy to forget and get caught up in the needs of everyone else around us.  Right now, you can’t afford not to take care of yourself.

Consider this as a reminder to slow down and do something for yourself. If it’s been a while and you need a few reminders as to where to begin, we’re here for you. Don’t worry about implementing all these suggestions at once; start slow and try to add in one or two where it feels right. Over time, try to mix in a couple more. As hard as it is to imagine adding more to your life, right now, we promise it won’t feel that way in the long run!

Exercise

We’re guessing you read this heading and reacted in one of two ways: you either smiled because you’re already exercising on a regular basis and know and love the benefits, or, like so many of us, you groaned internally because the thought of working up a sweat sounds miserable.

If you find yourself in the former group, you can probably skip to number 2. If you dread exercise, well, hear us out. Exercise is a proven way to reduce stress and increase energy. * Just 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week of moderate exercise is recommended and can make a huge difference. A good guideline to determine moderate exercise is that while you are in the midst of it, you should be able to talk but not sing. You should feel your heart beating a bit faster than normal, your breathing will intensify, and you may work up a sweat after a bit.

The key is to find what works for you. Exercise should be an enjoyable experience or it’s nearly impossible to stick with it. Would you be most likely to exercise if you could spend the time outdoors?  You can still walk with one friend and comply with social distancing rules.   I don’t know about you, but I can walk and talk with a friend for hours on end!

Right now many parents are working from home so building in exercise breaks becomes really important and look after your posture.  It all counts!

Eat well

We’re not talking about dieting here. We’re talking about fueling your body with the food it needs to function well. Instead of depriving yourself of the foods you love, reframe your approach and find tasty ways to add in nutrient-rich foods. Make sure you’re getting lots of different fruits, vegetables, and protein. Add in some complex carbohydrates, lots of water to drink, and the occasional treat that brings you joy.

Savor each bite. In the rush of the day it’s easy to slip into a fast pace or eat on the go. Sit, smell, taste, and enjoy your food. Take a cue from the French and find little ways to make eating a more pleasurable. (More on that here.)

As we stay at home, cooking together makes eating well so much more fun.  You can even add theme nights with music, fancy dress and practical life activities so even the youngest members of the family can contribute.

Sleep

Isn’t it funny how many children tend to resist naps, but as adults, many of us wish we had time for them? Getting enough sleep each night might help you make it through the afternoon slump.

Can you relate to this scenario? You have spent your whole day working hard and your child is finally asleep.  You don’t have much energy left, so you collapse on the couch to watch that next episode in the series.  Before you know it, you’ve watched more episodes of your favourite show than you intended to, and it has become later than you should have stayed up. You get yourself into bed, don’t get quite enough sleep, and wake up groggy to repeat the cycle the following day.

It can absolutely be a challenge to find time to unwind before bed. Take a little time to consider your personal situation and ask yourself what you really want your evenings to look like. Do you want to spend time with your partner? Do you want to wind down with no screen time and some relaxing music? Do you want to read the next chapter of your book? Could watching one or two episodes of that show leave more for another day?

Once you get into the habit of sleeping enough regularly, you’ll never want to go back.

Stay connected

Spending time with other people just for fun is so important for our wellbeing. Think about the last time you grabbed a cup of coffee with a friend, went on a date with your partner, or just made small talk with a stranger at the bookstore. But now we can’t do these things as we navigate the whole new normal of social distancing to keep everyone safe.  So what can we do instead?

Making and nurturing connections makes us feel whole.  So, now ZOOM has entered our living rooms, schedule some time to hang out with friends, other families, people you haven’t connected with for a while overseas or interstate, people  who make you laugh, or who are great at listening to your stories, or who you share common interests with.

You’ll end the connection feeling alive, refreshed, and ready to tackle the next news cycle on COVID-19. And don’t forget the telephone, it still works you know.  Remind yourself that you and your happiness are important.

Expand

Routines are great. They give us something to rely on and feel grounded in. Unfortunately, monotony can also get pretty boring sometimes. Mixing it up is a great way to feel your own sense of individuality. Novel experiences challenge our brains in positive ways, plus, it can be fun! Some ideas:

• Take a different route to work.
• Listen to a new (to you) genre of music.
• Try out a fresh hobby.
• Don’t forget to look up when you’re outside (you’ll be amazed what you see that you’ve missed before)
• Sit in a new seat (on the couch, at the meeting, wherever!)

Reflect

We saved this one for last for a reason; while it can be done any time of the day, it can be a simple practice to add in during the last ten minutes before bed. It’s simple: take time to be alone with your thoughts.

Reflection can take on a variety of forms, but it’s usually quiet, it’s usually done alone, and it can be really relaxing. Depending on your personal preferences, this may take the form of meditation, journaling, prayer, or something else altogether. Find what works for you.

With many of our families choosing to self-isolate at this time and the advice from the Australian Government to remain indoors for safety, here’s what living at sea for 80 days taught Hannah about self-isolation.

Whilst it may seem too tough just at this moment, when the time is right for you, think Thriving beyond COVID-19 to what you want for your children and their childhood.  They will forever remember this time in their lives and like every other day, they are watching you.  They will model how they think and how they act on your lead. If they see you taking care of yourself, they will do it too!  Being a parent is one of the most important jobs out there.  Not only does caring for yourself prepare you for the task, but it helps you be a great role model for your child.  Love for yourself and others in the time of COVID-19 has never been more vital.